Dear Morgan:
I can hardly believe my first baby is graduating high school. It seems like just yesterday that I brought you home from the hospital and it was just the three of us, so happy.
I had never been around kids and, admittedly, I didn't know what I was doing, I was learning as I went along and we were trying to figure each other out--something we still try, and struggle sometimes, to do. Our time together has gone by so fast and I wish I would have savored those sweet moments when you were younger a little more. I didn't know then that there would be a lot of "one last times"...
I've learned that there is one last time for everything.
One day I was feeding you with a spoon and the next day you picked it up by yourself, my job was done.
You would fall asleep on my lap in the living room at the end of the day and I didn't know that it would be the last time I would ever hold you while you were sleeping. The next day, you walked into bed yourself and that was it.
I used to carry you in my arms and then one day I put you down, not knowing I'd never pick you up that way again.
I used to put you in the shower at night and wash your hair, then one night you did it by yourself and didn't need me. Now I just pay for your highlights.
You used to hold my hand in a parking lot to cross the street, then one day you never reached for it again,
You used to get out of your bed in the morning and come lay in between your father and me to watch Zaboomafoo, but I didn't know the last time you did it would be the last morning I'd ever wake up to your hugs.
I used to stand in the prayer line behind you at St. Elizabeth Seton and you'd wave goodbye to me as you walked inside your classroom, now you just walk out the door in the morning and don't say anything.
I used to drive you to school, now of course, you drive yourself,,,everywhere.
There was a last time that I read to you at night, washed your face, picked you up when you ran to me smiling with your arms raised, and got you dressed in the morning.
The thing is: I didn't know it was the last time for these things until it was too late, and even then I didn't realize.
If I had known that the last time I picked you up was the last time I'd ever do it, I would have held you in my arms a little longer and squeezed you a little tighter.
I'm looking forward to lots more memories with you. You will always be my first baby, and from now on let's try to remember to squeeze tighter :)
With all my love and more,
XOXOXOXOXOXO
--Mom
